Finding Joy in Everyday Life: Why Fun Is a Survival Skill

We tend to treat "fun" like the dessert of life—something we only get if we finish all our "vegetables." But after the last few years, I’ve realized a hard truth: if you wait until the work is done to start finding joy in everyday life, you will simply never have it.

The "Adulting" Trap: 7 Renovations and 32 Appliances

Between 2021 and 2022, I hit peak adulthood. I didn’t just live life; I oversaw seven home renovations. Some were mine; two were for clients who were also family. I didn't just "buy a fridge"—I became the reluctant CEO of Major Appliances. I bought thirty-two of them.

I spent weeks in a high-stakes, cycle-debating war: Miele vs. Bosch. I had to explain to high-end clients that while they were agonizing over inner workings, the people actually living there just wanted a quiet spin cycle so they could get on with their busy lives. Believe me, nobody is having scintillating Miele debates on a Friday night unless they’ve truly lost the plot.

I even have "a guy" for lights now. His name is Michael. We’ve had deep-dives on the structural integrity of recessed lighting that would bore a statue. In 2022, I helped a "bozo" (technical term) with a renovation who was convinced his smoke detectors were up to date. I took him to Home Depot, handed his unit to the clerk, and watched the clerk look at him with genuine pity. "Sir, I haven’t seen one of these since the 1980s."

The Aisle 1, Bay 18 Breakdown

There was a moment in the middle of it all—standing in Home Depot, searching for Aisle 1, Bay 18 (or whatever it was) on two hours of sleep. I was wearing my Cinq à Sept Amour shirt, designer jeans, and fabulous boots. I felt good and I looked like I was headed to a chic brunch, but I was actually being screamed at over the phone by a "PITA" (Pain In The A...) relative who didn't want to replace a light fixture older than some US Presidents.

As the yelling continued, I started repeating out loud to the plumbing fixtures: "No more. No more. No more." I sounded like my daughter when she’s reached her absolute limit. I had to chant my mantra—"My client’s daughter, my client’s daughter"—just to keep from leaving the cart and walking out into the sunset.

If my 8-year-old self saw me in my designer boots, arguing about grout and circuit breakers, she’d say, "You have cool clothes, but you are legit boring."

A Lesson in Longevity and Finding Joy in Everyday Life

When I feel the "Aisle 1" madness creeping back in, I think about a friend’s parents. They were the ultimate inspiration for finding joy in everyday life. They didn't just "exist"—they played. They would dance in the rain and race each other like kindergarteners to the car. They were the type of people who would go for fancy sushi and martinis, laugh until they cried, and occasionally decide that ice cream was a perfectly acceptable dinner.

They lived into their late 90s, and they didn't do it by avoiding reality. They lived through multiple wars; they knew how heartbreaking the world could be. But they communicated, they never went to bed angry, and they understood that seasons always change. They knew that winter eventually brings spring, so they chose to meet the cold with love, kindness, and a lot of butt-pinching. They didn't have "fun" because their lives were perfect; they chose joy because they knew it was the only way to survive the hard parts.

The "Bad at it" Method to Joy

Fun reminds you that you are a person, not just a project manager for a PITA. But you have to lower the bar.

Take my trip to Italy. We tried to see Juliet’s balcony, drove past twice for a photo, and got zero good shots. Months later, the mail arrived with an "Oh shoot!" (but with much stronger language). We got one ticket. Then two. Then—I kid you not—a third ticket arrived. (That is a story for another time).

It cost us hundreds of dollars in fines and hours of figuring out how to pay the Italian government so we wouldn't be arrested the next time we landed in Milan. We sat there looking at the absurdity of it all and just laughed. It was an expensive blurry photo, but it was a memory. Do it anyway.

Choose Your Own (5-Minute) Adventure

If you are currently staring at a messy closet in a state of existential panic, here is how you start finding joy in everyday life right now:

• The Home Depot Pivot: Standing in the aisle? Go to the paint section. Pick out the most ridiculously named paint swatch (like "Aggressive Oatmeal") and imagine the person whose job it is to name it.

  
  

• The 3-Minute Concert: I am objectively terrible at organizing—I take everything out and then just stare at it in panic. If that’s you, stop. Put on a song with a heavy bass line. Use a broom as a microphone. Do a concert for the mess.

  
  

• The Kitten-Dolphin Reset: Pivot to the "Kitten-Dolphin" rabbit hole. Search: "Kitten nuzzles dolphin nose." It’s more important than your inbox.

  
  

• The Floor Picnic: Throw a blanket down for dinner. Eat ice cream if you want. If your kitty thinks the food looks delicious and you end up eating in a defensive crouch, congratulations: you’ve made a memory.

The Bottom Line

You don’t have to earn the right to enjoy your life. You’ve already bought 32 appliances and survived the Great Smoke Detector Time Machine of 1982. You’ve done enough.

Take a page from my friend's parents: race someone to the car, dance when it rains, and for heaven's sake, stop looking at the outlet covers. They knew the secret—that finding joy in everyday life isn't what happens when the trouble ends; joy is the adventure we choose right in the middle of the construction zone.

Now, go be "legit boring" somewhere else—it’s time to go watch a kitten meet a dolphin.