God’s Protection: Today I Saw What I Couldn’t See Then

A commitment to show up and write my truth | Day 309 of 365

Today, I saw God’s protection in a decision I hadn’t fully understood.

That decision wasn’t ours. It was made for us, and when it came, I knew there was good in it. I could feel that much. But knowing something is right and feeling good about it don’t always arrive together, and this one came on a timeline we never would have picked. We accepted it anyway, with a few feelings still trailing behind us.

Today, some pieces came together, and I finally understood why. That decision kept my family out of harm’s way.

I’m still sitting with that.

I’m very much in the “oh my goodness” stage of taking it in, so I won’t share the details yet. What I can tell you is what rose up first, before I’d even sorted out the facts. It was relief, and right behind it, a quiet thank you.

The Timing Wasn’t Ours

There’s a particular feeling that comes with looking back at an old moment while holding new information. The decision is exactly what it was. What I understand about it has changed completely.

It would be easy to be hard on myself now for the mixed feelings I carried back then, for not trusting it more fully. I’m choosing not to go there. I didn’t know what I learned today, and it is hard to make peace with a reason that hasn't been shown yet.

I also don’t need to pretend the timing was easy. I can be thankful now and still remember that it was hard on my family then. The gratitude doesn’t ask me to edit the past to make room for it.

When God’s Protection Doesn’t Feel Like It at the Time

Most of us have a decision like this somewhere behind us. A door that closed when we were sure it should open. A plan someone else changed without asking. At the time it felt like loss, or at the very least, like terrible timing.

God’s protection rarely announces itself while it’s happening. Sometimes it looks like a no. Sometimes it looks like a change of plans you grumble about on the drive home. You might only recognize it months later, standing somewhere safe, looking back at what you were steered away from.

What I keep returning to is that, on some level, I knew. Underneath the mixed feelings, a steady part of me recognized the good in that decision before I had any proof. We didn’t get a say in it, and none of us loved it, but I could still sense it was right. I think that’s what discernment often looks like in real life. It’s a quiet knowing that doesn’t wait for your emotions to catch up.

If you’re living with a decision like that right now, one that was made for you and doesn’t feel good yet, please go easy on yourself. Feeling unsettled doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. You may simply not have the whole picture yet.

Giving Myself Time to Find the Words

I’ve shared things before while I was still in the thick of them. On Day 262, I wrote about coping with change you didn’t choose from right in the middle of it, long before anything made sense. Some days in this project, an honest account from the middle is what I have to offer.

This one feels different. It’s too big to rush, and I want to hold it with care before I decide what to share and how.

Writing every day has taught me that showing up doesn’t mean telling every story the day it happens. Some stories ask you to wait a little.

So today, honesty sounds like this: something significant happened, and I’m still absorbing it. What I can see clearly is that my family was cared for long before I knew we needed it.

I keep coming back to the same simple words.

Thank you, God, for taking care of us.

About the Author | Day 309 of 365

I’m a soul-led coach, entrepreneur, mother, and recovering perfectionist, currently navigating healing, uncertainty, temporary chapters, motherhood, work, big transitions, grief, nervous system healing, overstimulation, emotional growth, and the ongoing lesson that life works a whole lot better when we stop trying to carry everything alone. Today that lesson looked like recognizing God’s protection in a decision that was made for us before I could understand it, and giving myself room to take it in before I find the words.

Day 309 of 365. Still showing up. Still trusting God’s timing. 🐧