Shadow Work Healing, the Karma Penguin Way: Meeting What We’ve Been Avoiding (Part 1)

There are people who look like they’re doing well.

They show up. They function. They handle things. They might even sound grounded, self-aware, spiritual. On the outside, life looks fine—maybe even good. But underneath, the same situations keep repeating. The same exhaustion. The same relationship dynamics. The same emotional knots that never quite loosen, no matter how much insight or awareness gets layered on top.

That’s usually not because something is wrong with them.

It’s because something is being avoided.

Avoidance doesn’t always look dramatic. More often, it looks normal—socially acceptable, even rewarded. It looks like overworking and overgiving. It looks like staying busy so there’s no quiet. It looks like scrolling, drinking, eating, consuming content, filling every pause with noise. It looks like gratitude on autopilot. Like affirmations said out of habit rather than truth. Like saying “I’m fine” because being honest feels like it might unravel too much.

What Shadow Work Healing Is (and What It Isn’t)

Shadow work as a concept originates in depth psychology and is most often associated with Carl Jung, who used the term the shadow to describe the parts of ourselves we learn to hide, repress, or disown in order to belong, survive, or stay safe.

Jung didn’t view the shadow as something bad or broken. He saw it as something unconscious—parts of the self that were pushed out of awareness because they weren’t welcomed, understood, or supported at the time.

Over time, shadow work has been adapted into spiritual and self-reflection practices as a way of understanding how survival, conditioning, and unmet needs shape not only who we become, but what we avoid.

In simple terms:

Shadow work is what happens when you stop managing your inner world and start listening to it.

And feeling what comes up.

Not sidestepping it.

Not reframing it immediately.

But acknowledging it honestly.

This work isn’t about fixing yourself or becoming someone else. It’s about allowing what’s already there to exist without judgment.

And it’s important to say this clearly: shadow work is not about reliving trauma, forcing emotional release, or pushing yourself past your limits. It’s about awareness, choice, and self-compassion—not intensity.

Under the Ice (Where the Avoided Parts Live)

Most of a penguin’s life happens underwater. What we see above the ice is only a fraction of the effort it takes to survive. The same is true for us. Above the surface live the parts we’ve learned how to manage: competence, kindness, resilience, emotional intelligence, spiritual language.

Under the ice live the emotions we most often avoid: shame, bitterness, grief, resentment, regret—and more.

Not because they’re wrong, but because they’re uncomfortable, inconvenient, or difficult to hold alone.

What stays under the ice doesn’t disappear. It waits. It leaks. It shows up sideways—through repeated patterns, exhaustion, conflict, numbness, or the quiet sense that something still isn’t right, even when life looks “good.”

Because the longer you stay “fine,” the more your real self has to stay alone.

That experience—appearing okay while slowly disconnecting from yourself—is not small. It’s a vast, layered, deeply human experience, and many people live inside it for years without language for what’s happening. This alone is a huge topic, and we’ll be returning to it and exploring it more deeply later.

When Spirituality Becomes a Parka

Many people learned avoidance because it worked. It helped them survive environments where honesty wasn’t safe, where being “good” was rewarded more than being real, where coping was praised and feeling was inconvenient. For many, spirituality arrived as relief—language that gave meaning, comfort, and structure when life felt overwhelming.

That matters. It still does.

The issue isn’t spirituality.

The issue is when spirituality becomes a parka you never take off.

This is where the spiritual ego tends to show up—not as superiority, but as armor. It sounds like “I’m sending love” instead of setting a boundary. It sounds like “everything happens for a reason” when grief is still actively living in your body. It sounds like “high vibes only” while resentment quietly builds. It sounds like gratitude used to silence bitterness, forgiveness used to bypass anger, positivity used to avoid regret.

If you recognize yourself here, it doesn’t make you dishonest or shallow.

It means you learned how to protect yourself.

But protection has a cost.

A Word From Me (Before We Go Any Further)

I want to say this plainly.

I have done shadow work. And it has not been a pretty package.

It hasn’t looked like a neat exercise or a calming ritual. It’s been raw. It’s been uncomfortable. It’s been deeply real. There were moments where what surfaced surprised me—moments where I realized how much I had been holding together with coping strategies I once called spirituality.

Some people make shadow work sound tidy, or even enjoyable. That hasn’t been my experience. For me, it’s been honest. And honesty isn’t always aesthetic.

This is the first time I’m writing about shadow work here. We will go deeper later. But it matters to say now: at Karma Penguin, we are not afraid to talk about the uncomfortable.

We’re not here to polish pain or perform healing.

We’re here to be real.

To be imperfect.

To be human.

And to walk with you, dear reader—not ahead of you, not above you, but alongside you.

A Gentle, Slightly Provocative Way to Begin

Shadow work doesn’t require you to tear yourself open or perform depth. You don’t owe anyone your process. You don’t need to “go there” to prove growth. You’re allowed to move slowly. You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to stop when it’s enough.

If at any point this feels overwhelming, it’s okay to stop and return when you feel grounded.

If you want a place to begin, start simply—and tell the truth without dressing it up.

On paper, finish this sentence:

“The feeling I keep avoiding is…”

Then answer:

“What do I do to avoid feeling it?”

Scrolling. Staying busy. Drinking. Eating. Being agreeable. Being positive. Being spiritual.

Now sit with this one, without rushing:

“What is this avoidance protecting me from admitting?”

Journaling Exercise: Befriending the Iceberg

Use this as a short, contained practice. Ten minutes is enough.

1. Name the pattern

   What keeps repeating in your life that looks accidental, but isn’t?

   
   

2. Name what’s underneath

   If that pattern had an emotion under it, what would it be?

   
   

3. Name the strategy

   How do you usually avoid feeling this?

   
   

4. Name the need

   If that emotion wasn’t “bad,” what might it be asking for?

   
   

5. Name one act of care

   What is one small thing you could do today that isn’t avoidance?

At Karma Penguin, this work is approached gently—without shame, urgency, or performance.

You Will Be Okay

Healing isn’t clean or polished. It isn’t polite. It doesn’t turn you into a permanently calm, enlightened version of yourself. Healing is integrity—the willingness to stop performing and start listening.

You can stop performing.

You can handle the truth gently.

And even when it feels uncomfortable, you will be okay.

What lives under the ice doesn’t need correction.

It needs care.

Author’s Note:This article is Part 1 of a reflective series on shadow work, emotional avoidance, and healing. It is written from lived experience and personal exploration, and is not intended as medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Please move at your own pace and seek additional support if needed.